[R18] So and so – “Someone” 64, father and son [English]

They walked to the west gate together, Zhao Xi was going to Xile, Sheng Wang and Jiang Tian were going to Wutongwai.

Obviously the three of them could chat normally, but as soon as Zhao Xi left and Sheng Wang and Jiang Tian were left walking side by side, the atmosphere suddenly became silent.

In the evening, people come and go at the west gate.The whistle is not allowed inside the school, only the sundries hanging on the mobile food stalls jingle. The sky is dark and the lights are sparse and have not yet been lit up in a line.

Sheng Wang’s mind was filled with the scene when he just left the classroom, and he didn’t know what to say.Jiang Tian rarely talks, and it is difficult to tell whether he is thinking or just too lazy to speak.

But it still seemed too quiet at this moment.

At a certain moment, Sheng Wang had a vague idea.He seems to know why Jiang Tian is silent, but he doesn’t seem to know.

It is said that the minds of young people are the most elusive, and Brother He is the best among them, and He himself is no less generous.

The old lady at the entrance of the alley was walking her grandson, imitating the child’s words and bending down to tease him.Sheng Wang stepped aside to get out of the way, and his shoulder accidentally touched Jiang Tian’s chest, and he was helped by the other party.

Jiang Tian’s hands are big, but not thick.Sheng Wang could feel the slender fingers pressing on He’s shoulders, and then pulled away after a while.

He tugged on the schoolbag draped on one shoulder and waited for the old lady to leave before taking another step.Maybe because of the collision, he suddenly wanted to say something to break this inexplicable stalemate.However, before he opened his mouth, he heard Jiang Tian say: “I just heard a little outside the classroom.”

This topic came up so suddenly that Sheng Wang was stunned.

Jiang Tian looked at the long and narrow alley in front of him. After a moment, his eyes turned to he, like a casual glance: “Do you have a girl you like?”

“No.” Sheng Wang almost blurted out.

Maybe he answered too quickly, and Jiang Tian was also stunned for a moment.

Sheng Wang seemed to have finally seized the opportunity and said, “I was chatting with Brother Xi just now. He asked casually, so I just said it casually. There was no other meaning.”

He thought for a while and added: “I don’t like any girl, there are only a few people in our class.”

Jiang Tian looked at he.After a while, he looked back and nodded, saying nothing more.It seems like he just asked casually.

After explaining what he had been holding back, Sheng Wang’s heart slowly fell back to the ground.He just breathed a sigh of relief until he turned the last corner of the alley and heard voices coming from not far away.A question suddenly flashed across his mind——

Jiang Tian…why do you ask this?

The moment this thought flashed through his mind, he glanced at Jiang Tian, ​​only to see Jiang Tian looking straight ahead, his expression somehow becoming ugly, as if he was disgusted or irritated.

The last time I saw him like this was because of Ji Huanyu.

Sheng Wang subconsciously looked forward, and sure enough, he saw the man coming out of the gate of Old Man Ding’s courtyard.The other party still looked well-dressed, but his expression was full of embarrassment.

Old Man Ding’s hoarse voice came from the door: “Look at you, don’t you want to save face? Don’t you think it’s ugly to keep saying these things back and forth? Listen to your own words, are they human words? Oh, you don’t want it if you don’t want it, and you want it if you say you want it? Everyone is surrounding you? Xiaotian is a human being! You are nothing! Don’t come to me, and don’t go to Xiaotian, we don’t recognize you, so get the hell away from me!”

This was the first time Sheng Wang saw the old man really angry, instead of trying to scare someone with kindness.The old man’s body is not as strong as when he was young, but after all, he was a soldier before, so he is still very energetic.He pushed the person out of the door unceremoniously, and Ji Huanyu staggered back a few steps.

The old man stuck his head out to close the door, but saw the people on this side of the alley.He was stunned for a moment, and quickly gestured to Sheng Wang to tell them to leave quickly and not join in the fun here.

However, Ji Huanyu had already seen them, losing face like this in front of the juniors, and his expression was embarrassing and angry.

He stretched his shoulders, straightened his clothes, and then walked towards Jiang Tian.

“You! Don’t talk to he about anything and everything. No one wants to listen to your words! If you want to hear them, you should have listened to them a long time ago. Is it necessary now?” Old man Ding still wanted to talk about he.

Ji Huanyu controlled his temper, pushed the old man back into the yard without any explanation, and closed the door for him: “I said, I just want to talk to him. Can you go back to the house and rest for a while? After all, this is between me and Xiao Tian, and it has nothing to do with others.”

The old man was cursing inside, and Ji Huanyu closed the door bolt outside.He said to Jiang Tian’s direction: “I didn’t lock it, I just set it up, and you can release it after I finish talking.”

Sheng Wang suddenly admired he for keeping his tone like this under such circumstances.Although he can be heard on the edge of irritation, at least he is still calm for now.

If such a person was twenty years younger, he would be quite noticeable in school.He remembered that Old Man Ding had said that Jiang Ou and he met in high school and stayed together. After graduating from college, they got married naturally.It seemed reasonable that Jiang Ou would like such a person back then.

He and Jiang Tian are father and son. In old photos of Old Man Ding, he and he have a bit of a resemblance.But standing in front of him, Sheng Wang felt that they were different.

I can’t tell what the difference is, but they are completely different.

“Let’s find a place.” Ji Huanyu took out his phone and looked at the time, and said, “Is that over the corner -”

“Right here.” Jiang Tian interrupted him impatiently, “If you have anything to say, just say it here.”

Ji Huanyu looked at he and sighed, put down his phone and said, “Okay.”

He glanced around. This alley was remote enough and no one would come there. It was even more secretive than a restaurant, cafe or other places.

A secret place in broad daylight.

“Okay. Then -” He nodded again and turned to look at Sheng Wang.

Jiang Tian sneered coldly.

He thought Ji Huanyu was really funny, so he came over to ask for a chat, but every time he acted like he couldn’t let outsiders hear him, so why bother?Isn’t it contradictory?

The sarcasm on his face was too obvious. Ji Huanyu was pricked by that expression and suddenly couldn’t speak anymore.There was finally a crack in the calm look that he had tried so hard to maintain.

He took two steps in front of Jiang Tian, stopped midway, and couldn’t help but say: “Xiao Tian, it’s been so many years. Your mother She has also found the right person. I heard that her life is actually quite good now, much better than following me. Why do you always remember those things?”

Jiang Tian glanced away, as if he was irritated if he looked at him again: “Are you qualified to mention my mother?”

“No.” Ji Huanyu recognized it quickly. He lowered his eyes and didn’t say anything for a long time. He didn’t know what to recall while staring at the ground somewhere.After a long time, he said: “I am not qualified to mention she, so I have never seen her again——”

“You dare to see me.” Jiang Tian moved his feet.

Ji Huanyu said quickly: “No, I haven’t gone to see her. I have been avoiding her since I returned to China. But Xiao Tian, it has really been a long time ago. Yes, I was a bit confused at that time, and I was not satisfied with anything. There was a big gap between what I thought when I was young, and I was a little… confused. I had been separated from your mother for a long time at that time. You were young and didn’t know much, but it was indeed already…”

He carefully considered his words, not sure whether it was to defend himself or because he was afraid of offending Jiang Tian.He hesitated for a while before continuing: “I don’t have much feelings anymore. To tell you the truth, Xiaoou… your mother has actually been looking at the divorce agreement for a long time. I also have that idea, but I always feel that we can wait a little longer and we can continue to live together. After all, we have known each other since high school and have been together so long.”

He looked at Jiang Tian and said: “You may think that I am a scumbag from beginning to end. I also know why you don’t want your mother to know, because you are afraid that she will think that she has been feeding dogs for more than ten years. Right?”

Jiang Tian did not refute.

He gave a vague bitter smile: “Whether you believe it or not, at least I really liked her when we were together.”I haven’t thought about anything else, but life is not about falling in love.There are too many things to worry about.There were too many messy things at the beginning, and I was a little depressed. I don’t know if you are in that situation.Sometimes you are under too much pressure and you think it’s okay, and then you want to do something outrageous.

So you were hanging out in the room of that old house with an unrelated man?

Jiang Tian often feels that some people are ridiculous, and even he is ashamed to talk about the things he has done. Every time he mentions it, he either avoids the third person or stops abruptly.It seems that as long as they are not spoken out, those things will slowly be submerged and forgotten.It seems that if he wants to expose it himself, others will forget it.

It seems that other people’s feelings and thoughts are nothing, and other people’s memories can be erased at will. Don’t other people… not count as human beings?

Ji Huanyu would emphasize one thing every time, you were still young at that time.

Yes, he was indeed very young at that time, so young that many things only appeared in incoherent fragments when he was remembered later.Just like when he recalled that day, he only remembered that the room was filled with smoke, choking him so much that he could hardly open his eyes.There are cigarette butts everywhere on the ground, burned out and with a little red star.Ji Huanyu was entangled with another man in the swirling smoke.

He was already sick that day, dizzy, and maybe still had a fever.The images weren’t even real, like graffiti or snarling limbs in a bad movie.

He may have said something, which shocked the entangled people, and then the whole situation was chaotic.He seemed to have been thrown away, or maybe someone bumped into him, and then he fell to the ground. He may have pressed the unextinguished cigarette butt, causing a burning pain in the back of his neck.

In the first year, he always had similar nightmares.It’s not scary, it’s just that after waking up, I had to drink half a glass of water to suppress the nauseating feeling.

Later, those images became blurry year by year, and all he could remember was the smell of cigarette smoke and that disgusting feeling.

Zhao Xi often says that he is a bit precocious, maybe so.Just like he knew at a young age that Ji Huanyu was an extremely face-saving person who liked to whitewash peace.

It is said that Jiang Ou and Ji Huanyu are the same, and neither knows how to take care of him, but he can distinguish who is helpless and who is true.

The care he received was limited, so the kind of boredom in his heart could count, so he was very protective of Jiang Ou.When he was picked up, Jiang Ou hugged him and cried for a long time, saying that he seemed to have been doing wrong things and that he was a bit useless.

Because of he, Jiang Ou denied his life for several years.He didn’t want her to deny her life for more than ten years because of Ji Huanyu.So he has been hiding it.

As long as he keeps it secret, Ji Huanyu will never say anything.

So for a long time afterwards, while he was disgusted, he had to suppress his disgust in front of Jiang Ou. Gradually, he no longer had the urge to explode.

The jar will rust if left stuffy for a long time.

For a long time, he rejected all overly intimate contact. Intellectually, he knew that too much was too much, but that kind of subconscious thing was really difficult to correct.

Fortunately, there are Zhao Xi and Lin Beiting.

He saw something different from the two friends who were a few years older, and then forced himself to calm down and adapt slowly.Until one day, he could finally separate Ji Huanyu from everyone else, and also separate himself from those things.

As the two friends said, not all intimacy represents a kind of emotion, and there is no need to make excuses, as that can easily be self-defeating.

It actually makes sense.Just like he has Zhao Xi, Lin Beiting, Gao Tianyang… there are many friends near and far, and no one makes him have any ridiculous ideas.

he is different from Ji Huanyu.

…

The sky is getting darker and darker, and their outlines are finally becoming less clear.

Ji Huanyu explained for a long time, and finally became anxious.He felt that he actually didn’t say anything wrong, but he couldn’t shake Jiang Tian’s mind no matter what.He couldn’t help but think of Old Man Ding’s words – He was locked out at first, and now it’s your turn.

He didn’t do anything, but he was a little exhausted, so he slowly fell silent.No matter how excited, peaceful, anxious or guilty he is, Jiang Tian always looks cold.

Sheng Wang looked at Ji Huanyu, and with more and more words, he finally got a clue.he thought of what Zhao Xi said and what Jiang Tian called “shadow”.Although Ji Huanyu didn’t say anything specific, he guessed it.

He couldn’t help but look at Jiang Tian. At that moment, he suddenly had the illusion that Jiang Tian’s disgust and irritability were floating in the air, not like the person involved, but more like a bystander.

It’s as if he spent many, many years to forcibly separate himself from those messy past events, and then became an irrelevant outsider. Today, many years later, he brings a message to the other party for himself who lived here and there.

He said to Ji Huanyu: “I think you are disgusting.”

There were no bright street lights around, but Sheng Wang could see that the man’s face was pale, and he was really hurt by these words.

He stood firmly in place, Old Man Ding’s scolding, Jiang Tian’s cold eyes… all kinds of pressure and emotions came up, and he had the same impulse as before, wanting to do something or say something.

Sheng Wang saw he move a little, and he took the initiative to stand a little in front of Jiang Tian.As if he was afraid that he would do something, unexpectedly, the other party’s eyes swept over the two of them, and then said something to Jiang Tian.

Ji Huanyu said: “Xiao Tian, ​​do you know? Some things are hereditary.”