[R18] So and so – “Someone” 108. Pruning [English]

Jiang Ou took a sip from the paper cup handed to him. The temperature was adjusted just right. She swallowed the water and suddenly realized that her son had always been like this for so many years. He didn’t talk often, but he always took good care of others.It is because he is so good and so calm that sometimes even she forgets that he is actually not that old.

“Have you taken the medicine?” Jiang Tian sat with her for a while and asked in a deep voice.

Jiang Ou nodded: “I took one specially before coming here.”

The communication between he and his mother and son seems to always be like this. Jiang Tian is not good at chatting, not good at explaining, and not good at finding topics to make people relax and happy. Every time, he stays silently where she can reach, like a steady and speechless shadow.

Jiang Ou stared at the shadow of his feet for a long time, and suddenly heard him ask: “How was the game?”

She was stunned for a moment, a little surprised.She thought Jiang Tian would get straight to the point and ask her what she and Ji Huanyu said. Unexpectedly, after many years, he actually learned to be tactful.

“It’s good, not tiring, very relaxing.” Jiang Ou smiled softly. She was still gentle and approachable when her eyebrows relaxed, but years of psychological torture have made her a little more tired than before. “The old man also likes it very much. I found two chess friends and met an old lady who can play the piano.”

Jiang Tian said “hmm”, tilted his head in the direction of the ward and said, “Then why do you want to ask him to come back?”

Jiang Ou smiled, and then sighed softly after a long time.She knew that being tactful was only temporary, and her son was still the same cold and stubborn person who went straight and didn’t know how to turn around.

“I just want to try it,” Jiang Ou said.

“What to try?”

“Try the doctor’s advice and see if I really get better.”

“Why do you suddenly want to try it?”

Jiang Ou opened his mouth and wanted to say because I know how tired the people around me are, and I also know how tired you are.But with five or six years of living in a foreign country in front of her, these words seemed extremely pale and powerless, and she couldn’t say them out.What’s more, she still gets nervous for no reason because of a few words, and her recovery is not so complete.

She was left speechless by the question, and was about to joke about whether she was staring at her mother and questioning her like this?Suddenly I remembered what the doctor once said, saying that she was more like a junior in this mother-child relationship, relying more on the other than taking care of the other.It was like this before, but she didn’t realize it clearly. She just thought that Jiang Tian was relatively independent, and she couldn’t get involved even if she wanted to take care of him.

Later, because of Ji Huanyu and Du Cheng, she became frightened and suspicious, feeling that no one could be trusted and no one was worthy of her affection.The only exception is Jiang Tian.

So she herself didn’t realize that she regarded her son as a life-saving straw. Her survival instinct made her hold on tightly, for fear that if she turned her head, even this one and only son would disappear.

Seeing that she was stunned for a long time without replying, Jiang Tian pursed his lips and lowered his eyes.He rested his elbows on his knees and clasped his fingers loosely.After a while, he asked again: “How was your chat with him?”

“Who?” Jiang Ou was confused for a moment before realizing that he was talking about Ji Huanyu, so she was confused for a moment and replied: “It’s different from what I imagined.”

Jiang Tian turned to look at her, and she frowned slightly and said, “I thought I would be very uncomfortable, anxious and sweating, but no. He has changed so much that I almost didn’t recognize it. Maybe he is really having a bad life, but I have nothing to be angry about.”

Jiang Tian didn’t speak this time and was silent for a long time. Jiang Ou himself couldn’t sit still for so long and glanced at he.

“Xiao Tian?” Jiang Ou called he.

“Yeah.”

“Do you think Mom is funny?”

Jiang Tian twitched the corner of his mouth, which couldn’t be considered a smile at all.He said: “It’s not funny, I just can’t figure it out.”

“What can’t you figure out?” Jiang Ou asked warmly.

Jiang Tian didn’t even raise his eyes, and asked quietly: “Even Ji Huanyu, you can just say it, why can’t I?”

Jiang Ou’s heart suddenly tugged, as if someone had pinched the flesh on the tip of his heart with the sharpest nails.

Although he spoke directly, he had never asked such a question.Afraid that she will become anxious, insomnia or have an emotional breakdown.He has been holding on to his temper for so many years, and today for the first time he couldn’t hold back.

“Am I more unacceptable than Ji Huanyu?”

he actually sounded calm, like he was really just confused.The more this happened, the more painful Jiang Ou felt.

Once bitten by a snake, she has been afraid of well ropes for ten years. She has dug into the horns of the bull’s horns all these years, but she is just afraid that she is not well raised, and that Jiang Tian will be on the path of Ji Huanyu… In the final analysis, she just doesn’t want Jiang Tian to be even remotely similar to Ji Huanyu.

But she never expected that after going around and around in a big circle, Jiang Tian would actually put himself and Ji Huanyu on the same scale.But she was speechless and didn’t know how to refute.

She wanted to say of course not, how could it be possible?You and Ji Huanyu are worlds apart.

But she looked around blankly and found that everything she had done in these years seemed to be on the opposite side of this point of view, and every reaction she had seemed to scream “You will become that scumbag if you are not careful.”

The most terrifying thing is that if Jiang Tian didn’t ask this, she would never even realize it.

But…

“I really didn’t mean that, Xiaotian.” Jiang Ou took a sip of water, pinched the cup and slowly suppressed his emotions.The process of facing Ji Huanyu just now provided her with experience. She subconsciously recalled that moment and tried to imagine herself as a bystander.The person sitting in front of her was not her son, but a strange young man who was trying to have a heart-to-heart relationship with her.

She is less prone to anxiety, much better than in previous years.she is just sad…

In order to avoid violent emotional ups and downs over the years, and because of drugs, she has not sorted out her thoughts for a long time, or in other words, she has not “thought” about this behavior for a long time, so that at this moment, too many words came to her mouth, but she didn’t know how to say them.

After a long silence, she finally found the beginning of a sentence: “I actually tried it.”

Jiang Tian raised his eyes.

This was like an encouragement. She held the cup and continued: “Mom really tried to understand. For a while, I was fine without taking medicine. I thought about it for many days. I was thinking… Why do parents want their sons and daughters to get married well and have a child? My mom, your grandma told me before. She said it was because she thought about getting old in the future and she is gone. What should I do if I am alone? It would be nice to have someone by my side. Someone reliable can take care of me. SheI’m relieved.Actually, I’m pretty much the same, I just thought…”

She paused, her eye circles a little red.She lowered her head and took a sip of water before saying: “My son has been alone since he was a child, and there is no one to take care of him. In fact, it is strange that Ji Huanyu is useless, and I am not qualified myself. I might as well kiss you with an unrelated old man. But the old man is getting older, and his health is not as good as before. Including myself, I have to go first in the future. If you are not married at that time, you are still alone. It doesn’t matter at ordinary times. What if you get sick? What if you get into trouble? What if you get older?”

Jiang Tian moved: “Marriage can’t guarantee these.”

“I know.” Jiang Ou said slowly, always with a hint of nasality, “You see, Mom really thought about it. I later told myself that getting married actually doesn’t mean anything, and divorce may happen even after getting married. I am a living example. But if I have you, who will you have in the future? I thought and thought at that time, and I couldn’t get out of it for many days.”

Jiang Tian pondered for a long time, then turned to Jiang Ou: “When you came to Wutong to pick me up, did you think you would have someone to take care of you when you are seventy or eighty years old?”

“Of course not.” Jiang Ou said.

“Then why should I think about it?” Jiang Tian said.

He was not a question, and his tone was not serious. He was as cold and indifferent as ever, with a bit of helplessness and pride.But Jiang Ou was indeed stunned when he heard this.

“The old man has never been married or given birth to a child, and he is still being taken care of. But there is only a caregiver next to Ji Huanyu.” Jiang Tian rubbed his thumb on his knuckles and said in a trance: “Who knows what will happen in the future? Is it useful to plan so many years in advance?”

“How will you know if you don’t try?” Jiang Ou said.

“I tried it when I was 18,” Jiang Tian said.

Jiang Ou suddenly became speechless.

Turning 18 was a hurdle. Since then, Jiang Tian has never celebrated his birthday again.She and Old Man Ding, professors, classmates or neighbors, no matter who tried to prepare for him, would be rejected.He seemed to be afraid of that day, even hated that day.

Whenever he thinks about this, Jiang Ou will feel extremely uncomfortable.

She hurriedly lowered her head and took a few more sips of water.

The hallway wasn’t that warm and the water cooled quickly.Jiang Tian reached for her paper cup, stood up and walked to the water room.

In the past few years, Jiang Ou has seen his back many times.Perhaps it was because this floor was so empty that it seemed even more silent and lonely.The corridor is very long, and the water room is at the other end.

For a moment, Jiang Ou had an illusion.It seems that that lonely figure will walk on the narrow road for a long time and never end.

She clenched her fingers, suddenly stood up and followed.

Jiang Tian was mixing warm water in the water room. The mouth of the cup was filled with hot air, and the stainless steel water tank was covered with a layer of white mist.Out of the corner of his eye, Jiang Ou followed and stood next to he.

After a few seconds, he heard the other party ask softly: “Does it have to be Xiao Wang?”

Jiang Tian was stunned and almost scalded his index finger with the boiling water.

he lowered his eyes, hurriedly turned off the faucet, and stood there for a long time holding the slightly hot water glass before saying, “Why can’t it be he?”

Why can even Ji Huanyu be treated calmly, but he is always so sensitive when hearing Sheng Wang’s name?

There was no color on Jiang Ou’s face and he looked a little pale: “Because I really regard Xiao Wang as my son.”

She knew that Sheng Mingyang was a businessman and would be kind to Jiang Tian, but it was difficult for her to treat him as her own.But she was not. For a long time, she really regarded Sheng Wang as her second son, her biological son.Not because of her deep feelings for Sheng Mingyang, but because she regarded Sheng Wang as Jiang Tian in another time and space.

“I have told you before, right? I have heard a lot about Xiao Wang when he was a child, and I think he is very similar to you when he was a child, except that he was raised like that, and you were raised like this by me. I often think, if I can be more qualified, spend more time with you, and pamper you, will you grow up to be like Xiao Wang, who can laugh, make trouble, and get angry. It’s not that heMy personality is better than yours, I just think…if that were the case, you would have matured later, thought less, and smiled more.” Jiang Ou said.

If she really regards Sheng Wang as her son, how can she accept the fact that her two sons are together?

Jiang Tian didn’t say anything after hearing those words. He just stood silently, staring at the slightly swaying water line in the cup. After a long time, he suddenly said: “Have you seen him before?”

Jiang Ou didn’t react for a moment: “Who have you seen?”

“Shengwang.”

“…No.”

“You should meet him.” Jiang Tian said.

“Why?”

“When I met him a month ago, he could no longer laugh, make trouble, or get angry.” He twitched the corners of his lips, smiling with self-deprecation, “It took five or six years to raise another Jiang Tian.”

Jiang Ou’s breathing was stagnant, and his heart seemed to have been scratched out with a long gaping hole, and blood was leaking out.She was extremely sad. She didn’t know whether it was because of Jiang Tian who said such words, or because of Sheng Wang who became “Jiang Tian”.Or maybe…it’s because he has been going around in circles for so many years, turning everyone into “Jiang Tian” himself.

She suddenly remembered the young man she saw outside the hospital door. She opened her mouth in confusion and asked, “Is Xiao Wang here?”

“Here he comes, I didn’t let him come up.” Jiang Tian said.

She subconsciously wanted to ask why, but fortunately she stopped before the words came out, otherwise it would only be more embarrassing.She also wanted to ask, “Are you guys together again?”, but she couldn’t ask.Because she even told Ji Huanyu to forget it, I don’t know how else to ask this question.

It seemed that just asking would put the two of them on the same line as Ji Huanyu, which was what she least wanted to see.

She didn’t find a position to ask, but Jiang Tian took the initiative to speak: “I shouldn’t be able to change it for anyone else.”

Jiang Ou was stunned for a moment.

“I want to spend a long time with him, and I don’t want to miss any year.” Jiang Tian looked at her, “If you can’t accept it, I will still find you alone in the future, and there won’t be any changes. If you can accept it, then we will do it together. ”

He paused and said, “I’m not asking for advice, I just want to tell you.”