[R18] Paradox [siblings] – “Paradox [Sister and Brother]” Dark Boundary [English]

He was very tired this night, and logically Ling Sinan should fall asleep.

But I don’t know why, even if my eyes are closed, my brain is still awake.

She didn’t know how long she spent in this half-dream and half-awake state, until the sky in the east turned fish-belly white, and a ray of light from the untightened curtains penetrated the dark room. She suddenly opened her eyes.

The sound of the bedding rubbing against skin.

She stared at the ceiling, with disintegrating acid running through her bones.

Rain pattered on the glass. It was still raining outside and the sky was cloudy.

My head feels so stuffy.

It’s just…a little bit frustrating that I can’t tell the difference between fantasy and reality.

Her long, disheveled hair was gathered from the pillow to her shoulders. She sat in a daze for a while and looked at the rain outside the window for a while.

The whole world is hazy in the rain, just like her thoughts.

Picking up a piece of clothing, she put it on her shoulders, got up and walked out of the room.

At the end of the corridor, the clock in the living room reads 5 am.

At 5 o’clock in the summer morning, it became dark and difficult to see because of the rain.

A figure is leaning on the balcony.

Her shoulders were straight, her figure was slender, and the protruding curve of her Adam’s apple could be seen on the side lines – at that moment, she suddenly had the illusion that the person standing there was a man, not a boy.

The sky is still gray, so the sparks of shallow breathing on he’s hand are particularly clear, and cyan smoke disperses from the red light to the surroundings.

Ling Sinan frowned and walked over quickly.

Opening the floor-to-ceiling window of the balcony, he turned around and the cigarette in his hand was snatched away by she in the next second.

Most of the cigarette was burned, so she angrily threw the remaining cigarette butts on the ground and put them out with her slippers.

Ling Qingyuan looked at her quietly, the amber in his eyes still indifferent.

It seems that the cigarette was not snatched from his hand just now.

She was very angry, so angry that her breathing was a little unsteady: “When did you learn to smoke? Do you think it’s interesting?”

He looked at her steadily for two seconds and suddenly smiled.

“Didn’t smoke,” he said.

Ling Sinan became even more angry: “Are you still telling lies?”

“I really didn’t smoke, sister.” Ling Qingyuan put one hand on the railing and leaned slightly towards her, closing the distance instantly.

Then his lips covered her.

Xu had been standing on the balcony for a while, and his thin lips were slightly cold.

He held her lips in his mouth, sucked lightly, and then again.

The aroma of tea is unparalleled.

Pulling away a little, he leaned against her lips and whispered a smile: “Do you believe it now?”

The twelfth floor is so high.

Ling Sinan thought dazedly.

She covered her pounding heart and subconsciously looked back inside the house.

“I helped him back to the room.” Ling Qingyuan raised his hand and closed her clothes.

“Don’t change the subject.” Ling Sinan raised his finger and tapped his forehead unhappily, “It’s okay to light a cigarette and pretend to be cool? If I see you doing this again, I will…”

he pretended to be pitiful and touched the knocked forehead, raised his eyebrows and asked: “Just what? Ignore me?”

“…Yes.” Can’t think of anything else.

He leaned forward and smiled, “You are reluctant, not to mention I didn’t really smoke.”

She still wanted to talk, but Ling Qingyuan explained first: “I did think about it a few years ago, but I quit after taking two puffs.”

…You have the nerve to use the word “quit” after taking two puffs.

“At that time, they told me that smoking relieves stress and is very masculine, but the taste is really terrible and not suitable for me.” Ling Qingyuan said, “I don’t have the need to increase my maturity by smoking. However, watching the burning process of cigarettes is very relaxing for me – even just a little spark can slowly burn out a cigarette, like boiling a frog in warm water. After a long time… there will always be changes.”

he looked at the birds flying in the rain in the distance, flapping their wings and soaring in the heavy rain.

“Sister.”

“I want to ask you one last time – have you really decided about them?”

Ling Sinan took a step forward and put up the railing, “Do you think I should learn to forgive them? After all, I am their child.”

Ling Qingyuan was noncommittal.

“Actually, this is not a hypothetical question.” Ling Sinan slightly clenched his fingertips, “Just like a child can’t be okay just because it’s a child who does something evil, and parents can’t be okay just because it’s their parents who make mistakes – we all come to this world to live this life, not to mention they haven’t really raised me, so why should I give in to them?”

She closed her eyes and felt the moisture in the air hitting her eyelids. At that moment, water droplets seemed to condense in the corners of her eyes.

“You’d better not expect them to support you ‘sincerely’.” Ling Qingyuan smiled, “I am the result of their ‘sincerity’.”

“——Two years ago, I was studying all the time except when I was sleeping and eating.” He tilted his head and tried to remember, “It’s not enough to just study. There are also various extracurricular classes that need to be taken. If I resist, what awaits me is a solitary room – if I don’t finish the papers on time, I won’t even get a meal.”

Ling Sinan was a little surprised. She thought that her parents should at least take good care of Qingyuan, and at least they would not show any neglect when it comes to food and clothing.

Ling Qingyuan probably noticed the surprise in his sister’s eyes, and asked helplessly: “Do you think I haven’t been beaten before?”

Ling Sinan was even more surprised.

“There will always be resistance when you are oppressed. There was a time when I resisted too much, and he’s business was not going so well. He often beat me after drinking.” The corner of his mouth curled up mockingly, “The initial trigger was that day, he found out that I had a dog.”

Ling Sinan thought of the simple drawing in his brother’s diary.

“He threw it out, and then whipped me with a belt.” When he said these things, his eyes were calm, as if all the emotions had been taken away and he didn’t care. “At that time, Tudou, the dog I raised, barked through the door, which probably made him angry. He rushed out and whipped it a few times. I guess Tudou was less than a year old. He was just a puppy, so he had to be whipped a few times.”

Ling Sinan put his hand on the back of his brother’s hand.

“I pulled him and beat him, but at some point the potato got up and bit his trouser leg. Even if he kicked him, he wouldn’t go away. In fact, I wanted him to go away at that time, and not to come back after he left.”

If you leave, don’t come back.

“Later…” Ling Qingyuan paused, “he threw it into the sewage well.”

Ling Sinan’s heart tightened for a moment.

“I was injured and couldn’t scream a few times…and then I couldn’t hear anything.” He slowly lowered his head and rested his head on his sister’s neck, his voice muffled.

She pulled him over and stroked the brown hair on the back of his head.

“You know? They have arranged my life a long time ago.” Ling Qingyuan’s voice floated from her neck: “What hobbies should I have, what school should I go to in the future, what major should I study, where should I work, what age is suitable for marriage, and which family’s daughter is best to marry… The difference between me and Tudou is that I will not be thrown into the pit.”

He lives in a glamorous cellar.

It will only lead to more chronic suffocation.

“Everything you see now is because I changed.”

If you can’t change them, change yourself.

On the surface, he no longer resists.

But resentment is sometimes like silently burning smoke.

Once lit, there will eventually be a hand-burning moment.

“I just hope you won’t become like me.”

The rain pattered.

After a long time, her quiet voice came to my ears——

“You’re not terrible, don’t think so little of yourself.”

Ling Qingyuan raised his head.

“You’re fine,” she said.

“Otherwise, how could I like you?”

he chuckled.

“Don’t laugh, I’m serious.” She said in embarrassment.

“I know.” His voice was soft and magnetic, and he kissed her, “I know you really like me.”

“Ah, you’re so annoying.” Ling Sinan turned his eyes away, not daring to look at he, and moved the topic away, “Why don’t you ask me why you agreed to get engaged to Shen Yu? You don’t ask me what I plan to do?”

The topic changed so quickly that Ling Qingyuan was stunned for a second.

“I never doubted that you would be with him, sister.” he said. “I know you are working hard for me too.”

The sky was brightening, and the gradually brightening world outside made the room behind him seem to be plunged into darkness.

Ling Qingyuan closed the skirt of her clothes again: “Go back and put on your clothes. Today… dress warmly.”

“Ah?” She smiled, “You are the one, don’t get wet.”

She picked up He and walked to the sliding door holding hands.

Think of something.

“Thank you.”

There is a lot to be thankful for.

Thank you for believing in her.

Thank you for being a younger brother.

Thank you he for being a lover.

She raised her hand, hooked the back of he’s neck, and took the initiative to kiss him for a long time.

The kiss was extremely gentle, like the wind rising after the rain on an empty mountain, like the embracing sea in the midsummer sky.

Walk with the light, just because of you.

Hugging each other was no longer enough to convey the heat, and they exchanged each other’s mouths with endless kisses.

It wasn’t until she opened her eyes out of breath that she realized she had to stop, and then quickly pushed away he and walked into the living room.

The room was quite dark.

She didn’t know why, but maybe it was some intuition, but she subconsciously glanced at the entrance.

In the dividing line between light and dark in the entrance hall, I don’t know when there was a pair of women’s shoes.

The moment she looked up, she was standing there.

In the dark.

Not even a moment.

Looking at them.

What is in his eyes is an abyss.